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WHAT IS THIS SHIT!!!!????? What the fucking shit is this!!!??? Remember I say I am quite confident with my test today!? GUESS WHAT!? I get a C+!!!! When I study and confident with the test... I always cannot score... WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT!? When I dont study and not confident then I get a better grade!!! I got B+ for UT 1.. and now a C+ for UT 2.. two grades dowN!!! what the fucking shit!!!! arghhh... forever the same.. study and confident get a fucking result.. when I dont study and not confident get a good grade.. what the fucking shit.. shitty fucking ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I shant study anymore!!!! study get worse result.. fuck it man!!!!!! Want to cry already when I know the results... my tears almost flow out... freak ass hole.. fuck it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so pissed with myselfa....!!!!!!!!!!!  Test taken... Your IQ score is 120
"This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results. " You are most afraid of moving forward "Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about making the "right" decisions than many people around you when it comes to your future? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about committing to your personal or professional goals or feel anxious that you'll never really be successful? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of moving forward. It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of moving forward may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by experiencing a wider variety of things than others. However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check." So true right? hahaha.. forgot where I took this test also.. idiot.. why didnt i bring my book!!?? argh.. today so fast finish my work then never bring my book.. now cannot do english.. argh!!!
but hopefully this sense of urgency will stay on till i finish my paper... :) Hmm… study till about 1am then I went to sleep.. did not blog because don’t want to waste my time on blogging, cause I know tomorrow morning I still need to wake up and study… and also it is always so tiring to take the train from tampines to redhill…
Now just finish my test, hmmm quite happy? I asked my friend about my answer and then my answer almost correct, hopefully is really right.. hee hee =) So happy.. hee hee.. Ok.. nothing much to blog about today, other than today I wore skirt to school today… was so lazy to wear a short.. and today got training.. so is like kind of lazy to wear short again.. haha.. getting feminie right? I guess many of you read this you will be so shocked! Hee :$ went into the class, my aiai and rach say about me wearing skirt… hmpf~! Haha :X I think later go down container more laughter man! Kelly don’t believe I wore a skirt.. nevermind she will see it later.. Ok… must really blog about Tuesday man.. always want to blog never blog… Tuesday… is quite a lousy day for me… wasn’t in the mood to study at all because the night before think about the English makes me really upset and depressing… therefore the mood was affected quite badly... I did not respond as much like I used to be… and Alvin asked me questions to see if I am paying any attention to him, I admit I do not really know… nevermind…, after that everything just go on.. received my grades for that.. a B.. he said I get a B due to my low quiz grade… boring! CnC also B… freak it man! Forever B… -sianz!- Enough of complaining all these shit! Shall talk about netball.. before that I don’t feel like playing at first.. was tired and having headache.. so quite sianz of playing the match later.. then later liduan told me that peiru is playing so I cannot don’t play if I don’t, then my position might be gone.. so no choice.. –sighz- It was really not a very good day… I did a lot of mistakes… drop ball… passing not accurate or hard… stepping? I don’t know.. everyone in the team also doesn’t seems to be in a good mood… then injuried my thumb before the game… then ankle hurts from yesterday till now… haiz… thumb and wrist also still painful.. haiz… injury pro.. that’s me!... freakish me… I think I really need to know how to tape man!!! Tony let me rest on the 3rd quarter, peiru went in.. fear arise.. but due to the trainings she missed.. she did not know what to do.. so was quite messy… but still she got her basic.. I don’t.. anyway Tony asked me to improve my basic.. –sighz- mr teo!!! I want to go back ES to train… stop saying I am a spy can!? Arghh… anyway mr teo still have not said what he intend to say… haiz.. Saturday, match… haiz… don’t know.. no confident? Or I don’t know.. this week not a very good week for me I guess.. nevermind shant let personal to affect my performance… I must be a good player.. because it was mr teo who guide me to be a player.. and now I must be a good player… so I wont hua fei his effort… Oh yes, just remembered… want to talk to my ‘hubby!’ dear hubby… I am remembering both who stand by me that time and the feelings… but the thing is whenever I start doing it, I got the kind of feeling why didn’t I start earlier? Now I am really trying hard to do what I can.. but there are just certain kinds of feelings that I do not know how to explain…anyway.. in my eyes, you will always be a teacher to me.. you, mr teo and ms lye will always be a good teacher in my eyes, my heart.. your advice means to me… when time goes by… we are getting closer… you meant a lot to me now.. (as in your words, your encouragement and things like this.. ) Ok.. guess that’s about all already… it is time for me to do my part for my enterprise… I think if I were to be more active I think I can achieve my A.. because he said I need to be more active and I got a B… but rach they all are active and also a B… so maybe is my activeness.. but then want to be respond but they are more outspoken – sighz- nevermind shall do my part now… blog later I guess… hopw I feel much later during training.. cause now headache haunting again…. SO much to blog... Wah.. I realise I had so much to blog... really its alot... because many things happen yesterday and today.. really.. hmm.. -sighs- maybe start with today first...
Woke up at 6++.. what a good day to sleep.. but then it is so tiring.. because it is a raining day.. a good day to sleep.. dread to go to school.. but cannot.. because I miss too many lesson already.. so just pull myself up and go.. with heavy footsteps.. -boring- then later went to class.. only pathetic few was in the class.. -gosh- then slowly more and more people come in.. then lesson start.. I change group... cause is only the pathetic two of us... then went to town to have lunch.. my aiai kissed me.. this is the 3rd time someone kissed me.. anyway.. all the 3times are girls who kissed me.. haha... then later ben kissed edmund... after that here I am... (12.50pm) Ok.. for yesterday... hmm.. its alot to blog.. maybe I shall do it for the next entry if not will be so long... but let me say something.. now is 11.42pm.. haha.. I have yet to blog... ;x I took a nap after typing afternoon's incident.. just too tired... Anyway, just now went to Seoul Garden, haha... this is my 3rd time I had diarhoea when I eat SG... haiz.. weak stomach!!! About 9+.. damn it.. feeling a bit breathless already... then started to cough so badly with wheezing sound... so afraid that my asthma will come back.. but lucky got fisherman's friend, so eat alot and alot... and now felt much better... phew... but its still very bad... Feeling so tired now.. I think I want to sleep first then wake up and blog later and to study for my test tomorrow... haha... first time... ? Hmm... I dont know.. really sick and tired of all the Bs I have now.. how I wished I have more As... -sighz- no one believes that I really hoping to be one of the top student... but I doubt I really can achieve that with my poor attendance, oor results with all Bs Cs and even D! My wish of being one of the top student is getting further now... haha... MY cognitive, because of my quiz score sucks I got a B... -sighz- Not enough effort put in? Must I be like puifun? Stress... angry... and everything? Maybe I should? I really dont know... argh... so tired... Should I sleep now and wake up later to study? *shrugs* If I do, I will blog later too... Is it too late? -sighz- dont know why there is a sudden urge of me to get into my english... yesterday I already started to think of starting my english... and I didnt do it.. but today I really did... in the past was got the idea, but no strength.. now both are combined.. and now I am thinking that if I have started it too late.. haha.. how stupid can I get right? Now than realise is too late.. -sighz- but I am really worried.. but as what Mr Teo had keep reminding, doing all these now is not for my short term goal which is to pass my english, but is for my long term goal, which is to be a better person who is able to converse and write good english..
I really dont know.. suddenly I just felt so upset.. the moment when I thought that the book was given to me so early and yet 3 weeks later than I start doing it though in between I did read through bit by bit.. but isnt using any heart.. now when I do it.. do for 6 exercise, then I think I had wasted my time.. -sighz- and as what mr teo always said.. if you dont learnt your lesson, the things will keep coming back.. till the day you learnt.. so that means.. I will fail my english again.. cause I did not learn my lesson.. I should have started it! damn it! Closing my eyes, I really can see the images of how I felt that time.. in the gym with mr teo, asking him about my results.. at first didnt want to say, but told me.. I told myself not cry.. but I couldn't.. I expected my english to pass so I didnt ask about it, I asked about my maths, science, and so-on.. cried and smile as I knew the results.. but at the very last moment.. he mention about my english.. a D7.. my tears flow... like a running tap.. couldnt stop myself.. going up the hall.. knowing my result I cried when mention to Ms Lye, dont dare to talk to Mdm Noreha, saw her, I will walked away in SHAME! Feeling so damn down.. no one can really understand how I felt.. this is really my saddest moment.. this is the time when I really wont forget.. called back home.. my mum didnt even dare to believe me! she thought I was lying!... This is eally my saddest moments... and I just remember every single thing I did.. thinking back.. I just want to thank Mr Teo once again.. he was really there for me.. I need him and Ms Lye.. thanks for being there... really... Now... they are also the ones who encourage, help me for my this year english o level.. I really feel ashamed! They helped me yet I dont help myself.. and I help myself so late? Ms Lye kept reminding when she was still in school, after resigning, she still sms me at times to ask me to study.. Mr Teo, make me think in another way, lending me books to improve my english, telling me what I should do.. BUT what have I done for myself!? I dont know.. so ashamed of myself now!!! Yunru, do you want to feel the same way like this year? Do you want to walk away or felt so ashamed to talk to the both of them like how you did to Mdm Noreha? DO you want to leave RP for your own good? Argh... I just cant psycho myself now.. juts so damn bloody down about what had happen on the result day! Knowing that I had fail my english.. -sighz- no more energy.. headache for 1 hour already.. and its time to sleep.. feeling so down... ... ... ... ... ... who can help? no one.. other yourself... haiz.... Today's diary Today I have a very interesting lesson.. Seriously speaking, today lesson is the best science lesson I ever had.. I am so happy today, really! =) hee hee.. oh yes, hee hee is the nick of him.. Wahaha.. Hmm.. now I shall say why I am so happy of today’s lesson..
I reached the class just nice? He had not really start the lesson yet, once I in there the moment I saw the same people like last year, I get quite upset already.. but I trusted Wallace.. Oh yes, forgotten to say him refers to Wallace, my science facilitator, a new fac, taking over Jim.. there were some deal between me and Wallace, so though upset but I trust him.. Hmm.. ok.. Sajini’s laptop is down, she needs to go down to the IT helpdesk.. and then Wallace mentioned that today lesson needs a lot of team work, then later Wallace says that if by 15mins time if we are still the 3 person, he is going to split us up.. and in the end he did.. he asked me to go over to my ai ai’s group.. I was so happy, first because my first time working with my ai ai, jasmine and kai liang.. and then was because more people working the easier the job.. so I am rather glad.. the moment I sat there, I started doing the task, because it is a tedious work.. later Ivan came and helped me.. =) and so on.. do the work and stuffs.. We did not have any break for the first meeting nor the second meeting.. we just carried on from 8.15 to 11.45.. but for these two meetings, we finished our problem statement.. oh gosh! Wallace was so fierce to Wan.. I really don’t know what to say, I really wished Wan is feeling alright.. Wallace is really good when he is good.. but if when he fierce he is really very scary.. he is just like mr teo.. hee hee.. when mr teo is nice he is really nice.. but when he is fierce really scary.. and both of them are really some one who can motivates to study.. in RP, Wallace is really the first one.. and Wallace seriously is better than Ms Sakinah.. Ok.. enough of praising Wallace, hmm.. he allow us to go home by 11.45 because he says that at 1pm, the lesson will be on revising the UT for us.. actually for the first two meetings, I was still feeling normal not really that interested, but just did my work because I wanted to learn.. It was the last meeting that he motivates, makes me interested and makes me really know that he cares.. What happened? When he came in, he wanted us to solve a question it is our appetizer, the question don’t know how to do, but then he gave hints, and do and after that explain, and he asked those who looked blur, like me, and then it is the same for the following questions, he really makes the lesson very interesting, and make us really understand all the questions.. he is good really! I really don’t know why, he just make me want to listen, understand and everything.. I really must thank him, because before him Jim makes me give up, I really gave up, I hate science, and I just don’t want to do.. then later Wallace now just make me interested =) Thanks! Enough of lesson, I am now in ES typing this.. came back for fun.. today lesson end early, so I came over.. but wanted to come because, Sotong took my sweets, so came back for it.. hmm.. stupid Mr Teo, just now keep bullying me.. just because of the match on the 7th of August.. he says I am the enemy, so cannot be here, and then I took the ball he kept wanting to snatch the ball and then later, used to broom to poke me! Then stepped on my thumb.. then later at the post stepped on my foot! Irritating poke! Hmpf~! Anyway, tomorrow there will be a match at NUS, playing against them.. hmm.. what can I say.. am I scared of it? Maybe more of hoping to do well.. must visualize again tonight.. =) Anyway, this one just added when I reach home.. Mr Teo said things that make me think.. and I really don’t know what he meant.. –sighz- and he don’t want to tell me.. *THINK* -sighz- I will talk nicely larh.. please kindly remove my link..
haiz.. dont know what to say lar.. nevemind.. got my pay today.. gave mummy half of it again.. spend money after that again.. haiz.. really want to save my money.. now maybe I should add my wishlist.. peepz.. just see teh change of my wish list.. :) hmm.. 30 more days.. dearest disciples.. remember hor... 30 more days.. wahahaha... hmm.. nothing much to blog... wanted to go and zzz le.. good nitez.. miss all of u! shall list it to show my sincerity! :) hee.. and to all stay happy.. and wish you the best this week :) to those having maths test.. jiayou~! MISS YOU! Love you! muaxkz! to: Sotong, Js, Ade, Panda, Xw, Sw, ShiFux n hubby.. good nitex all.. hee.. :) muaxkz! oh ya.. not forgetting my zhuzhu shireen :) hee.. n darling maine! :) Hmmm... Wah.... blog getting much better now.. so many functions.. :) this is coool... :) Ok.. shant talk much about blog.. but what happen today and yesterday...
Yesterday, I went back to school to see them train... hmm... dont know how to tell them... but 1 thing I know is that I umpired the game.. hahaha... this is my very first time! :) ok.. the team.. hmm.. what should I say about them? *thinking* some improved.. but some really deprove.. nevermind... later went to eat... talk alot of rubbish... then I reached home and then start to play the sims.. play until 1am then I went to sleep... Today.. hmm.. ok.. woke up at about 11.. supposed to meet up with adeline and jinshu but they went to watch movie with mr teo, mr lee and mr leong... nevermind... then later i went to meet them and we have lunch together.. later on, once again.. mr teo took my phone.. and this time took my sim card and memory card... cant be bothered that much when we were still eating... then keep suan-ning me and talked about the RP, HSC and ES match... excited and worried over it... nevermind.. later on finish lunch we left.. he still didnt return me the card! then follow him down the carpark! then he drove off... asked JS twice if he passed to her.. but she deny! used adeline's phone to call him then later he keep denying anything.. then say was at the foodcourt.. didnt believe at all... then later he asked adeline.. then he told her is at he FC.. then I was like really angry.. cause I believe in it! was soooo angry with hiM!!!! then later JS return me the card.. I really want to kill her on the spot.. vulgarities just want to come out of my mouth.. but I just walked away... then message Mr Teo.. was so pissed.. and he still laugh.. and get irritated and stop replying him.. then I just called Sotong.. and met up with her.... Suddenly, Mr Teo sms me... talked about the situation with many 'hahahaz' maybe was trying to cool me down bah.... then so on we continue to sms... was sort of cooled down.. cause I think it was 1 or 2 hours... then I just could not get angry with people for that long.. forget about it.. over already... Was with sotong, hy, jane and jolene.. I was quite quiet cause of what had happened just now.. I just realise I changed...nevermined.. then later we went back to tampines.. bitten by sotong and jolene.. then later left me, sotong and jolene... hmm.. I dont know what i was feeling anyway.. there was this point when the three of us got so close.. and jolene hold on to my hands.. and my another hand was at the side.. and I wanted to pull sotong over.. but i just didnt.. -.-! nevermind.. after that left me and sotong.. we talked about all the scary experience... and stuffs... Reached home... play the sims again.. and now blogging.. want to sleep already.. cause going to have tuition tomorrow.. -boring!- Anyway been thinking... about the changed I mention just now... I really dont know.. I think I changed.. my tolerance level is getting really lower and lower... I think last time if same situation happen I wont get angry at all.. I will just smile and laugh and everything just normal... but.. I really dont know why... why did I get angry? I really dont know.. my tolerance level is getting lower... is good or bad? I dont know... -sighz- I dont wish to have that low of tolerance.. I get angry... people will also not happy... and cause the strain between relationship.. but I cant tolerate anymore.. why? -crys- Argh.. I hate this kind of feeling... really!.. Things that will only make me smile now is that.. 1 more month to my bday =) anyway... duahai.. happy birthday.. :) |
Plan your life like forever, but live today like there is no tomorrow... Stay positive :)World is unfair... things keep coming back til you learn...
++InTrOdUcTiOn++ ::xIaOyUn:: ::Born on 18/08/87:: ::Unqiue Leo:: ::Yu Neng, EastSpring, Republic Poly:: ::Netball, Badminton, Track&Field, Librarian, Table-tennis, Choir:: ::To be PE teacher, camp instructor... ::Sporty:: ::Outgoing:: ::Friendly?:: ::Fun-to-be-with:: ::Low self-esteem:: ::Low self-confidence:: ::Between Optismist and Pessismist ::Sensitive:: ::Emotional:: ::Quite bad-tempered:: ::Short:: ++LOVES++ ::Play Sports:: ::Surf the net and Chat:: ::Laze arnd, Sleep, Slack:: ::Green, Blue, Yellow:: ::To be: Pe Teacher, Camp instructor:: ::East Spring Netball team:: ::My friends, hubby, disciples and shifu(mr teo):: ++WiShLiSt++ .~.Jacket (preferably nike).~. .~. .~.Storybook so to improve my english :) .~.Save money for all my buyable items.~. .~.A sports bag.~. .~.Nike Shorts.~. .~. .~.Mp3player.~. .~.Man Utd Jersey.~. .~.Bball shorts (black).~. .~. .~.Spending my birthday with ES peepx.~. .~.RP improved in IVP.~. .~.I play as a good Center.~. .~.Able to control the game.~. .~.Join RP bball.~. .~.Commited in wushu, netball and bball.~. .~.DO well in my studies.~. .~.Move on to my future.~. .~.Dont stay in my past.~. .~.Get a B for my Eng O's this year.~. .~.ES netball team will perform.~. .~.People who I care live happily.~. .~.Learn as many sports as possible.~. .~.Study in Uni.~. .~.Weight become 45kg.~. .~.More confident in myself.~. ++People I wont forget++ .+.Buddy - Jesline aka Panda.+. .+.Buddy - Sihua aka Da ge.+. .+.Buddy - Hui Ching aka Ah Neox.+. .+.Buddy - Rosling aka Brother Xiaowong.+. .+.Buddy - Kelly aka Auntie.+. .+.Buddy - Cindy aka Blur Queen.+. +.+Tudi - Huiwen aka lamer no.1+.+ +.+Tudi - Adeline aka lamer 2+.+ +.+Tudi - Jinshu aka Idiot+.+ +.+Tudi - Siriporn aka ah bui+.+ +.+Tudi - Suwei+.+ =.=CHIJ² Sotong Pai - Cheryl aka Sotong no. 1=.= =.=CHIJ² Sotong Pai - Hui Ying aka Sotong no.2=.= =.=CHIJ² Sotong Pai - Perrine aka Sotong no.3=.= =.=CHIJ² Sotong Pai - Jane aka Sotong no. 4=.= =.=CHIJ² Sotong Pai - Jolene aka Sotong no.5=.= (",)Mummy (Ms Lye) (",)Shifu aka Daddy (Mr Teo) (",)Shifu aka Dua Hai(Mr Lai) (",)Hubby (Mr Leong) (",)Ben Hai (Mr Tay) 
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